Accepting & Working with How We are Created
Accepting & Working with How we are Created is the 1st Step to Kedusha
Flashbacks, traumas… are a place of Elokim that is stuck in the thought by design, we have the opportunity to redeem it by recognizing we can have a RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR CREATOR.
By Shuli Kleinman
Steps for becoming a channel for H-shems Light
Embrace the greater truth about our purpose
Recognizing and Rectifying our Natural State
1. RECOGNIZE THE SHECHINA IN EXILE. There is no other power. Recognize that the experience is an interaction with the creator who is concealed.
It may feel like being raked over fiery coals…
2. STRENGTHEN EMUNAH knowing the hidden bias of the world is that Hashem is bringing only good.
He gave us a nefesh elokis we were given to repair and redeem that shechina in Exile; Hashem does that.
3. LOVE H-SHEM who gives us life and constructs a Nefesh Elokis designed to do this very repair and heal it
4. HE IS DOING ALL OF THIS ask for H-shem’s help
Daven to H’ “I will to not want this in my life”
5. RECOGNIZE & STRENGTHEN EMUNAH: trust that it is purposeful
- Have compassion on the soul of the thought to bring it to its root of purified emunah
6. SHIFT: Replace the koach into His Will Torah, Avoda & Chesed,
- Have the will/ratzon that we be given a way to replace the koach into His Will: Torah, Avoda & Chesed,
More details on recognizing El-kim in order to dissolve negativity
Summary: It may feel like being raked over fiery coals...we are bonded with thinking the projections of zuhama we have donated our soul to over the years, but trust that it is purposeful and we are able to will something else sincerely. Hashem has mercy/rachamim on us.
It may feel like being raked over fiery coals...we are bonded with thinking the projections of zuhama we have donated our soul to over the years, but trust that it is purposeful and we are able to will something else sincerely. Hashem has mercy/rachamim on us.
put the video link for more details here
It is a given that our natural thinking runs our emotions until we find a way to bring more light into it and expand our thinking with awareness of Hashem.
Until our consciousness addresses something, it remains within our reflexive selves and we may unwittingly make the same or similar errors again and again.
Yet, the gift of teshuva is that at the time we see the pattern, and we do sincere teshuva, all of what we plunged into the errors is redeemed.
Our motivation to be on the lookout for such patterns, is to continually be growing into a being that is bringing Hashem’s compassionate light into the void we create by purging our will for our negative pattern, thereby becoming a channel to draw that light into the darkness.
There is an outer layer of conduct that we are more readily familiar with – stop raising our voice, eat healthier and the like. But there is an embedded message that often may be a part of our soul buried at a very young age in a coping mechanism or false belief. To us, we have long ago forgotten how that happened, nor do we experience those feelings in a clear way.
Nevertheless, a part of us is bound and gagged and it is up to us to redeem these parts of us lest we are drawn to them when the negative angels that we unintentionally form during our lives come to claim our souls.
Every thought and every emotion has a soul. There is no Other Power other than Hashem. He gives us a soul and as we develop, our traumas and how we are educated greatly affect the formation of our patterns. It is therefore compassionate of the Torah to teach us that we CAN pray in such a way that Hashem activates the nefesh Elokis within us, that He has specifically designed to bring the holy sparks in our patterns of behavior back to Him and through which our nefesh elokis may then bring in a healing light that is designed specifically for that pattern.
With that SHIFT we are enabled to then turn to a mitzvah or chesed whose soul is that healed light.
Zuhamatic projection: What stands in the way is not just the memories and our patterns
What stands in the way is not just the memories and our patterns – there is a zuhamatic projection* that blares within us, heightening our experience of the painful traumas and memories, without our seeing the details of our soul that got trapped there or Hashem’s constant love.
The kedusha given to the Soton/ Yetzer Hara in order to project this through us comes from the tohu, the holy sparks that broke and fell into this world for us to ask Hashem to draw back to Him. These holy sparks also return and are added to what Hashem sends to us and indeed this is where the healing comes from, this very high light.
When we pray and tell Hashem that we do not want these projections to be what we act upon, that we want neither the suffering of following its line of thinking nor the ego reward that is associated as part of the natural world, such as power and pride, we are on the track of returning everything to its Source.
It can be excruciatingly painful, because perhaps we have, for a long time, wanted it and now we see it is not a good pattern. Even when power and pride seem “appropriate” they conceal Hashem. Nevertheless, it is hard to see what we will do or have without it. This is the narrow perspective of the animal soul. And this is where our inner dialogue can be so helpful. In truth, the power and pride we seem to crave (ego) prevent us from the expansive pleasure for which we are designed.
With emunah, the animal soul also knows that Hashem is all loving and is doing everything and that if it has destructive thoughts, to realize immediately that it is suffering from thinking a projection of zuhama.
Stop and tell Hashem that this is not our true will even though it feels like it is, that our true will is to do mitzvahs and serve Hashem and do chesed.
Then purge each of the thoughts to Him, asking oneself at the same time what this feeling is from, what age was I, where am I, and whatever questions help to elicit a “deja vu” experience where the original circumstances arise from long ago, for what was trapped there has become ammunition added to the kedusha arsenal given to the Soton to project through us.
All of this is taking place within our limbic system. Just as a baby or a toddler puts things in its mouth to explore to discover, so too may we view this examination – searching our limbic system and memories not for the purpose of acting but for the purpose of excreting or opening from where it is gagged a part of our soul that has been enslaved to a negative thought or emotion.
The true reality is that pleasure comes from the realization that Hashem is One, Loves us, and is doing everything and that we are a part of Him without stopping.
Our will that was affected by our development is blocking this realization and our emunah and trust in Hashem helps us bring what animates each fallen thought or emotion in prayer to that high emunah once again, through our beseeching Hashem to please accept our compassion upon the Shechina in exile and please restore it to a purified light that may then heal and refill our hearts from where we wish, then, to bring it into speech and deeds so that His Light may be revealed in the world.
RADICAL ACCEPTANCE: This step of sincere acceptance of the way we are created
This step of sincere acceptance of the way we are created – that we have a storm flowing between lack and ego issues that brings our thinking to it thereby entrapping our soul in the dark -is crucial. It sounds so unpleasant. We want to deny it. We want to disown that we do that. However, from this place IS how we serve Hashem, for our true role is to return the holy sparks – the kedusha in the projections – back to Him.
Hashem does not find fault with us for having these thoughts and emotions. He is the Cause!.
He gives us real free will and a nefesh elokis that He designs with the repair built in that HE will do for us WHEN we are willing to submit ourselves.
And to submit ourselves sincerely means we crack the attraction of the animal soul to the zuhamatic projections.
THAT is the bond that has our soul trapped unwittingly. Our will is corrupted there. That is the will for which we want not not want. That is the soul we wish to return in emunah to its pristine level of compassion to reveal Hashem’s Will.
This is our akeidas Yitzchok
And here lies our identity crisis!
It feels like everything. In fact, this is our akeidas Yitzchok in many ways, our first born identity, broken as it may be, habitually engrained as it may be, reinforced as love in a dysfunctional home as it may have been.
It is compassionate to understand that our mind and heart can move from this narrow strait (MITZRAIM) to an expanded highway by sincere prayer and emunah.
Hashem does everything. He wants us to know the truth about Him and rely on that. Never believe the hopeless messages of the zuhamatic projections!
When we are thinking those as true, we are actually adding fuel to the arsenal with which it strikes our hearts. Simply recognize that the message and the force within it are not integrated.
They can be separated like to atoms of a molecule and a new bond, a bond with holiness, can be formed.
May our effort to do so be a merit, a refuah, a blessing, a teshuva, a cancellation of gezeira and a satisfaction of din for the soul as it exists in ourselves, our families, klal yisrael and the world and may we soon see a new light. May we humbly embrace the greater truth about our purpose and may Hashem grant us success.
*zuhamic projection: [when we ate from the etz hadaas, the tohu that fell and was given to the Soton was formed into zuhama that was injected like a poison confusing our ability to see Hashem’s love clearly]
Nourishment for the Neshama A comprehensive website about emunah and core Torah concepts, with analysis and explanation of the writer’s personal growth experiences in Avodas Hashem and understanding of our relationship with HaKadosh Baruch Hu.