OMER MEDITATION

תפארת שבגבורה

Day 10  Tiferet sh b’Gevura

Based on Tomer Devorah and the writings on the Omer by Nechama Sara Burgeman and Nir Menussi.

tiferet is rachamim (mercy)

she b

gevura is yerah (awe)

“Where do I draw the line

between extending myself with rachamim for another

and withdrawing with rachamim on myself? 

My tefilla is to integrate rachamim

In the right way in the right time with the right person

rather than to refract the light

through this channel of rachamim / tiferet

The light which has been drawn from the light of the hitchadshut of Nisan

cheirus / freedom

which flowed in on leil seder

Isarusa dleila

And then diving into it… on Shvii shel pesach

I draw from this rishimu at this time

And focus my attention on the the channel of 10…
 tiferet she bgevurah

To draw this energy into my life, for the rest of the year and for all time

And into my life and
 into the universe.

to serve You Hshem,

Yehi ratzon milfanech

Ata baratni

You created me

Ata michayech oti

You are constantly re-created me every moment with chius

I connect with this lightforce of gevura

The tikkun of rachamim

Breath

Focus your attention on your left arm

And imagine Hashem’s four letter name hovering there on your left side

Yud shva, hey shva, vav shva and hey shva

Imagine the vowel shva

2 dots  one on top of the other

Make a loose fist with both hands

In the shape of a dot

And say a short shva sound,

And emphasis this sound with your hands

Breath in

Eh, eh, eh, eh

One more time…

transforming the attention to self

from negative self pity

victimhood

lhefach/ turn it around

to more refined levels of gevura / yirah

sweetened gevurah

I choose to do this birur process / selecting

purging any lingering chametz / ego

lkabel almat lkabel

to receive for the sake of receiving

.

which is embedded in the dark side of my middos of gevura

of anger, frustration and the desire to control.

The desire for it to be my way

For the desire of not having to tolerate these frustrating interaction

In this difficult relationship

Instead to be present in it

And to recognize the message
the Shechina in this place of constriction

Noticing where you feel the constriction

Focus your attention on your neck

Perhaps a residual part of Paro is revisiting

 the back side of the neck

choose to let go of it

that tight place

Where I am feeling the Sof/ the End of my

Patience. The end of my tolerance level the end of my kedusha

And I open to the front part of my neck

The shleimus / wholesomeness / inner essence open like the yam suf

Letting the light of the Shechina shine in

Originating from keter and funneling through chochma

And down to daas

Allowing the  expansion at the place of my neck

allow the expansive light, the herchavat hadaas to drop down into my heart center

The place of tiferet

With my breath

That Hashem is breathing into me

I bring the light down from chochma

Through the expanded channel of daas

to tiferet

Breath into your heart… with compassion

Feeling the chius

The lifeforce of

Chash / mal

Chash.

I daven to remain silent [gevura]

as I process this realignment [tiferet] of my inner kedusha

creating the time and boundary to focus my attention right now

to do this work.

Mal

My tefilla

Ani samuch rak ailecha levadecha

I connect only to You Hashem

This feeling of constriction is a gift from you

V ain zulatcha dvar ailai

And there is nothing else besides You

Ain Od Milvado

There is no good and bad.
This is good. It is all good. I align to my center column

 My tireret she b Gevurah
is my rectified Self-Compassion

My Compassion unconditional love
in Discipline

As I do this pnimius Avoda / inner work,

Strengthening my relationship with self

 דע את עצמך , knowing your self

by stopping and giving my self attention

Not from a place of ego

But with the shoresh/source of yirah / fear / gevurah

integrating rachamim / self compassion

into my inner work [gevurah].

Not negative self-compassion,

of my know response system to trigger as self-pity.

Which feels so comfortable to me

Embracing me the the reassurance that my diminishment

And being the target for anothers deficiency

Justifies my misery and nefila into darkness

whispering to to me that you are not good enough

you are bad

and theres nothing I can do about it except to wallow in self pity

It feels natural and familiar—but it has to stop here and now

gevurah.

I am doing this tikun to have rachamim on my self
to reach inside for emet hamiti

My true essence

For my greatness given to me by Hashem

To shine out and actualize in this world of malchus

I arouse This compassion (tiferet she bgevurah)
to do teshuva,

to recognize the shechina and to ratzo vshov

to change.

This constrictive feeling

Motivates me to rise

to get up,

to eliminate the victim mentality,

and activate my true self

lkabel almanat lhashpia.

To receive this to actually help the other

To help him/ her also elevate

This is the moment

I choose to have higher vision

Chochma

Opening the channel of daas elyon to tiferet

Is opened

I am acknowledging this constriction

Which feels like a Pagam of anochius

Ego self

Leacking

To discover that this judgement on myself

Is good

Because I found anava, humility

Smallness

And in this stat of chash / silence / gevura

I find compassion

For both the lowly unrectified parts of my consciousness

And the kedusha elevated neshama

Hashem is there in the fall

I find the light in the darkness

And that is where geula is to be found

I integrate with compassion

Chesed and gevura, both parts of me

They are both good.

Choose a negative pattern you are blocked in

Identify with it

Close your eyes

And allow yourself to go there

And then feel the shechina there

Turn your rachamim with ayin ilaa, higher vision

In this situation

To tap into the rishimu of

The light of Hashem being there with you in this place

And with rachamim, with gentleness, calling you to recognize it

And get up and elevate it

And heal.

Da / know

That my action that arouses my yetzer hara

Actually is arousing powerful gevuros.

In my moment of anger, I notice it for what it is

Hakarat haRa

I am noticing the gevurot kashot, harsh gevuros

In my constricted moment of the midda of __ Anger, diminishment

I am choosing the midda of gevura to recognize the yetzer hara and not get bound up with it

Into my natural pattern

And instead I choose to arouse my yetzer toward gevurot matukot. Sweetened gevurahs

And by doing this I am rectifying the Shechina

For the shechina is adorned by bina which is on the left side as well

Yet Binah’s abundant compassion sweetens the strictness.

These are tekunei HaShechina

Rectifications of the Shechina

Which is sweetened by way of the Yetzer hara

That was created solely to fill the Ratzon Kono the Will of its Creator

From this aspect

I choose to to love the Shechina within me sending me these messages

And release her from galus.

I focus on the lift in order to draw her near

According to Shir Hashirim

“His left arm is under my head. Smolo tachat lroshi

And His right arm embraces me,

Vyimino tchabkani.

I focus on sweetening all the tikkunim with my yetzer tov

Ltaken ota mamash

Rectifying the shechina

Causin her to rejoince by performin this mitzva for the sake of arousing this yichud

Lsmcha bdvar mitza

Lshaim hYichud elyon

Thus I sweeten all the gevuros

And rectifies them through the rigcht

Vtiknam byamin.

I redirect all of the gevuros to my avodas Hashem, binding them to the right.

Lkashram bYamin.