Are You a Disruptor?

By Liba Markson

Recently, I was introduced to a business coach, who I subsequently hired.

Her thing is doing business as a disruptor.

And I get butterflies in my stomach when I hear her speak about that and what that feels like and looks like in the world because I know that’s ME and I know that’s what I came here to DO.

I know that working with existing paradigms and systems in my business doesn’t work for me as it does for others.

I have to do it my way. I’ve always had to do it my way.

Finally, I’m owning that and discovering more about what it is.

Frankly, it TERRIFIES me. Because my spiritual path and chosen lifestyle are all about belonging to the TRIBE and NOT stepping over the line.

I never knew that what I have been my whole life was called something and served some PURPOSE.

In school I talked, okay argued, a lot, asked questions about weird stuff that no one else was interested in,

Like where do you go after you die?

What will happen to our swing set when we move (I totally connected to its “soul”)?

And prove to me that there’s a G-d.

As a kid, I was always leaving my body as I would fall asleep only to slam back into it when I thought about how WEIRD it felt.

I was teased and sometimes shunned because I was never cool and often managed to offend those in “POWER.”

I said things and asked questions that shocked and embarrassed people, but that really only exposed the TRUTH that made them uncomfortable. It felt like I was always out of step and just over the line, and truthfully, it made me a little sad.

Because I thought something was WRONG with me.

I wrote in an earlier post about burying all that when I got to college to become one of the “in” crowd. It worked for a while.

Until it didn’t anymore.

Does this sound familiar?

Can YOU relate?

Do you see through the norm, into possibility, and try to act on what YOU see?

I have, most of my life.

Which means I turned LEFT when most turned right,

🔥JUMPED when everyone sat,

🔥TWIRLED when others marched, and

🔥TALKED when the room was quiet.

🔥I was….well…..disruptive.

I was also serious, a great student, followed the rules, and wanted to be liked, popular, and chosen first.

I dressed well, was sociable, and a beloved babysitter. I had a job at Sears during high school, got into a good college, traveled the world, and had dreams of living in the limelight as ME.

But apparently that’s not what I had signed up for, so I had to learn how to live on the edge, in the dark, often alone, and find my power there.

It was messy, uncomfortable, and lonely, and I dreamed of being just “NORMAL.”

😳Then my soul led me on a path of ultimate disruption straight back to my Jewish roots, away from family and friends and everything familiar, and horror of horrors, I became religious.

Like the head covering, Shabbos observing, kosher eating type that is described by the media as ultra-orthodox.

I thought my prayers had been answered because I had finally joined a community and committed to a path.

For the next two decades, I was so busy learning to keep up, integrating into a foreign lifestyle, and trying to make my marriage and child raising work in unfamiliar terrain that my DISRUPTOR became somewhat consumed with how much disruption she had to digest. It took a while for her to rebound.

Although, truthfully, even during those years my consciousness was always drawn to the edge of my world and the universe. I often had one foot in the community pool and one foot in the rushing streams just outside the safe and secure fence that surrounded me.

Today, I’m getting real comfortable with my disruptor navigating my life and entering the darkness where there needs to be light.

She sees and feels and squirms at what’s just underneath our reality that’s false and dark and unexpressed. And she’s currently pulling at the stake in the ground practically strangling herself to be released.

It’s my SOUL, which I embrace today by hearing her thin, tiny voice.

I feel her energy and desires and know that she’s not pleased with the status quo. Not to be defiant. But because she’s simply CODED this way.

😏 I think many of us alive today are, actually, DISRUPTORS.

Human consciousness is evolving so ridiculously fast that familiar paradigms and systems are being swiftly overturned.

It’s hard to keep up with THAT.

You can’t be committed to almost anything but constant TRANSFORMATION, EVOLUTION, and TRUTH.

Especially speaking the truth.

ESPECIALLY when no one else seems to be.

I met someone yesterday who said she’s tried her whole life to be diplomatic and not too honest if she thought it might offend someone, but that she can’t anymore.

FRESH on her mind was that she had just told her daughter’s teacher exactly what she thought about a situation and wondered if she had done the wrong thing.

🤔I can’t say whether she did or didn’t,

but NOT being honest is NOT sustainable.

You’ll know I’m talking to you if you feel a huge sense of

⚡RECOGNITION,

⚡RELIEF,

⚡and RELEASE

as these words penetrate your being

recognizable as full body chills,

a reverberating sigh heaved from your depths,

and your mouth literally slack-jawed to the ground.

You’ll know this is you if you feel like you just discovered the secret to every mystery and challenge in your life.

If this is you, you’re here to express the unexpressed and speak the unspoken, despite the CRAZY butterflies and ALARMING anxiety that fills every cell when you imagine what that might actually look and sound like.

You know you’re meant to learn more and discover how this applies to YOU,

😏 your work

😉 your relationships

🤔 your health

🤨 your community

🌏 basically your whole world

if you can’t stop thinking about this IDEA.

A telltale sign is a feeling of electricity and light flooding your MIND and BODY.

And you know what, it isn’t easy holding the complexities of your disruptive SOUL and navigating the untraveled road before YOU.

But it’s never been easy for you so truthfully, you’re used to it.

😉At least now you know why.

Next: What Am I Here to Disrupt? Part 2