Parashat Chukat

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Parashat Chukat

Rosh Chodesh Tammuz / June 30, 2022

Notes
Reva Emunah 6-30-22

Dohek dshaa rushing
Not knowing and openness
We are about to be something new
Let go of everything we knew about ourselves
If we can die into that
We will be able to hold the presence
Of the energetic qualities that the egel hazahav holds on us
Abandonment
Lonliness
Our source of love security meaning
Die into
I don’t know where the source of love is
How I am going to be provided from

Rishimu
Her this
In the original wounding
The feminine created the wounding
The point was
It was about to be shabbos
It wasn’t the eating that was the issue
It was the consciousness and timing

The same of the egel hazahav
What happens to us the last few hours
The last day of gestation
(the last year before moshe would enter eretz yisrael. The rock)

17 tammuz will be restored to a yomtov
The first 17 tammuz which seems like a tragedy
The Nukva did not participate

They didn’t give their tachshitim Jewelry
The points of light within you
Your sefirot
They didn’t allow the tuma in.
The entire shevet levi didn’t participate
With the exception of Aharon
But he really didn’t
What is shevet levi
They didn’t participate
The entire left side

Women didn’t participate

1. Cohen. Right / positive /

2. Left Levi gevura / negative / receptive / the vessel

3. Center: israel / Neutral charge

There was a huge tikkun on the nukva already

_
Nukva. Needs to know how to receive
Boundaries
I am not giving my jewelry to the service of tuma

One the nukva does her tikkun
She can raise the zeer anpin

Gestating
Until you have the power to say
I am not giving my tachshitim to Tuma
This is the root system
Our mothers
And mothers mothers mothers
And they said no
And they were shomer on kiddusha

Ben 52 letter name of Haashem
72
63
45
52

Re ben oni
Becomes yahaveini

What did they change?

We are not giving away our tachshitim for tuma
Game over!!!
The last 6 hours…
What happened
Before geula
Before shabbos

Gan eden
Is all about our consciousness
With what intention we it
Its how we receive pleasure
Are we grabbing pleasure from a place of fear
Which gives birth to shame and blame
We are so empty and starving
I cant anymore
I cant handle being single the empty space etc

The satan
See that moshe’s dead
It means a projection being projected in your mind
Swished across your mind
Moshe is dead
Theres no soulmate, mommy and daddy
No plan, no one coming to rescue you

Midbar: testing ground of consiousness
No goodness, no water, food, shelter

The feminine made a different choice
Chazal teach us the eitz ha daas say
The whole story is taking place in consciousness

The physical world
Pre creation in the level of the mind
Have you ever created a world in your mind

The world created caf hey elul or adar
We celebrate rosh hashana when adam and chava was created

It can be the last 3 hours
The feminine saw also the vision that moshes dead
NOW WHAT?
They are having the same experience
There is a deep receiving that this is the reality

There was an acceptance that this is the reality
Still we react differently
Can we respond in a new way
Why do we care?
These are our feminine maps

We had borders
We will not give our life force away
In dishonored way…

So what does the feminine do? 1:06
The feminine begins to ask the question
Is this honoring me
Because ive been trained to ask other questions
Does this help the other person
If my vessel isnt strong and safe
I cannot help the masculine
Theres a seder hishtalshalut
Your own vessel has to be safe and honored first

The same way I didn’t know it
Chava didn’t know it

The torah of the feminine

I need kavod
I need to honor myself
Because that honors the shechina within me
If I can honer her
How can the dukva honor me

It begins with the shechina within me
I asker the question
And hold her borders
I lift her from the dust

And understand
Maybe the masculine torah is bitul
To avoid kavod
Yeshut
And the direction of the healing is to go into bitul

This is not the direction to our healing
Become less and less and less

Such a halleluya moment
That is not the fixing
Of the nukva

Have borders
Learn how to become a vessel

There discernment of what comes in
Once you make the vessel
The light can come in
And hold it

This is the Torah in the moon

The fixing of the feminine is to move into yeshut
Into becoming

There are times we move into bitul
You cant move into bitul until you have a safe kli
The kli is to receive true oneg
Shabbos

Their response was to
Move into total feminine energy
Begins with discernment
Then deep humility
Deep deep patients hamtana
Deep surrender into the not knowing

Lo litchok et hashaa
Don’t push the baby out
Don’t push the result

The last 6 hours about to enter shabbos
What is shabbos
Shalom integration oneg zuvug and true connection
Surrendering the vav
The needing to know and the forcing

The masculine response shares the response of reuven before the tikkun
Acting from the space of rejection
Rushing
He lost his bechor
3 things he lost

1. The bechor of the double portion: yosef

2. The bechor of kohanim: levi

3. The bechor of machchut: yehuda
   

But chazal say he became the first person to do teshuva ilaa. To want connection to hashem more than the stuff.
His reward was the connection
Forever
Her gets a real bechora
He ends up doing the fixing of esav

Their paths are totally linked
Impusivity and grabbing
In the end he also esav
By claiming the behora
To value dveikus patience and receiving
Ie RK that’s not how a parent texts to a child

Sit with the contractions
And the not knowing

___________________________

Reva Emunah 6-26-22
Directionality
So that in every movement
We are heading closer toward kedusha
We cannot hold it in perfection yet

Gavriel Cousins
Synthesis
Is ratzo vshov

Para adama
Malchut dKedusha
Makes people fall in love with Gd through you
In use for the intention of elevation
Growing kedusha in the world
Reverence for the community

Malchut dsitra achra
Divisiveness, fear, lack of resources
Red
Edom
Full rectification of Malchut beit David


The root sefirot
Survival
The color of blood
My life not being threatened
Adam
Do I elevate the earthiness
Bringing in the most animalistic of energies
DAM
Adom
Adama
Dom
Silence
The gevorot red
Whites: chasadim

The gevorot are under the embrace of chasadim
To be sweetened by the shoresh

Move away from the perspective of polarity
The gevorot to be held in the chasadim
Its coming from the same source

Its what happens when light becomes form
Lack, separation etc
Whenever we see a reference to para, egel
These energies will have a connection to earthiness
Taurus
Dealing with rechush: money, what I own

Egel zahav
The basic desires: security, not being abandoned

Yosef hatzadik
when moshe was trying to find his bones, he took a piece of skin of the cow

Skin is malchut
Why? Malchut is the outer expression of the inside

Alei shur
Elevate the shor
What is the shor

Karnei or: from egel hazahav
Moshe karnei or
Malchut dkedusha

Zahav: din, red, the energies of malchut
Kesef: chesed
Kisufim: longing lichsof lichsafti

Para adumah
Shor, sensuality, food, adama: malchut and yesod: yosef hatzadik

Yesod
Aduma

Fixing yesod and malchut that can purify others

Nesivot shalom:
Malchut: is lashon rabim
Because it holds the polarity of tahara and the opposite

Rosh chodesh Tammuz
3 tamuz
The moon and sun holding space at the same time

Pagam halevana
The elevation of the feminine
Malchut

How does homeopathy work
How does like cure like
How does suffering needed to heal?
Hamtakat hadinim bshoresh
How do we sweeten energies at their root

The or and kli in nesira
Separated the light and vessel
Or can be consciousness

Delay: sevel
The suffering is in having to wait
To have resonance to join together

At its core all it is is trapped
The water trapped in the hose is goodness
Theres a lack

Rashi:
The son of a servant,
The mother comes and cleans up the excrement of her son
That why the para can fix for the egel.
Elevated malchut and malchut of mochin dkatnut

Our desire for pleasure
What is metamtem?
Tuma: atum: sealed off, locked, shut down
Tahara: tohar: connected to tzohar: a window that allows unrepeated flow of light and vessel

Tuma: going to block insight, leads to sefirat hakeilim; not sustainable
Tahara: what is the connection to kapara

Homeopathy
Korban is a kapara
Kapara: ke” para
Like a para

Ldaber: gavri: masculine
Vyedaber el moshe v aharon

Laymor: I want you moshe and ahron: give it over in a lashon that is rach: gentle, kind and feminine

Laymore: vedaber: they got it on that level
Hashem had to say it twice

All of his reactions to the egel hazahav
Energetically
A closed circuit

Para adama is the remedy people need when they are stuck
Between ourselves and each other
Tuma: is self
Self consciousness
Moshe rabbeinu is the mother
Egel hazahav is us
Whats moshes connection to be the mommy cow
Netzach: moshe: endocrine system, mothers milk

Mann: nursed; vibrational download of emunah

Torat Moshe
Why don’t we call it Torat Hashem
Hes the rectified Parah

What is death
When the light leave the vessel
The soul and the body

Yamut:
Not just death: but tuma
OHEL: Leah
Same letters
Binah
Upper feminine
Ma tova ohalecha yakov
Ohel tzadikim
Ohel haaidut: shechina lives

Entering into a state in deep tuma
Ohel: is malchut

Leah is the beginning of malchus beis David
Admoni: david hamelech
To take it from sitra achra (esav)
She is in service of birthing malchus in the world

Ohel moed
Ohel space
Moed time

Ohel is always giving us the vessel the woman

Tumah in the state of the ohel
Adam
Or (red vibration)
Ki yamut bohel

Words of Torah will not be expressed through someone
Until they die for the torah

If you’ve died over a certain piece of torah
Than that Torah is yours
If its cute and sweet to you
Its not your torah

If you’ve sweated in it
That’s your torah

It’s a set up
If its true
You can only get over torah
After you die for it

If the whole torah
Is called torat moshe
Macheini na
Blot my name

He died his dream
Malchut dekedusha
Or meshemesh
Eretz yisrael

What does death have to do with learning tahara

Die for it in order to birth it.

June29
The body is like a battery
With the positive crown on top / positive / keter
Bottom / negative

Energy
What are these mini deaths
Being disconnected by the ohr ayn sof

Some of the energy centers can be shut down
A person can feel numb or blocked in their heart

The lubavitcher rebbe
Wouldn’t say tamei
He would say lo tahor

The rectification of the ADOM
Dovid hamelech
Adomi
Malchut
Asiya
Physical reality, birthing, manifesting
Being a channel of hashems light
As it moves through your vessel
And transfers to the world

Intention: latzmi levad, survival need
Water malchut dsitra achra
A way of receiving that will give birth to more separateness

Its up to ME
To figure out all my survival needs

Or intention
To reveal more of myself in the world
But in a way to reflect hashems light
A person can fall in love with Hashem through you.

Ie. Yitzchak perlman: when I hear him play, I feel hashem

The red energy
Dinim
On the color spectrum…
Hashems infinite light is a brilliant beautiful clear all encompassing light
A beautiful crystal, where all colors are contained
Red is being bounced out
You are only seeing the farthest end of the spectrum of red
Slow, heavy, earthy
As opposed to ultra violet light which is very fast

The speed of sound and lightwaves
The further down in seder hishtalshalut
Red is the furthest down to the naked eye

Baal hatanya
Lower 3 klippot
Energies that block and conceal light
Under malchut
Even lower
Ie: dark matter, darkness that sucks in light, black hole

PARA
Female cow
Shor: ox male
Egel: male calf
Egla: female calf

Spiritual map
The color red
Spiritual energetic properties
Ie. The end of the light spectrum, blood
Connected to the energy of the greatest presence of life and death

Birth
She has undergone a partial death
Baby has undergone a partial death
The cord gets cut
A disconnect of light and vessel
The flow of lifeforce
The light of the ohr ein sof
Is a level of death

A huge change in her rechem
A death of what was before that (perfect body)

The feminine in terms of malchut: Rachel
The vessel

When we look at Para: it’s a hint to Yosef haTzadik
Connecting sheva to vessels
Flowing yesod to malchut
Husband to wife flow

A room in a home is a vessel
Challal
It’s a space
With borders and limits
The name of hashem connected to yesod is shakai
When you move from room to room
You are going from yesod to an expression of malchut
The mezuza shin daled yud

Connecting the spaces within the space
All the spaces that are holding kedusha
Konnecting yesod to malkut
Yesod is the doorway
Malchut is the vessel

Yosef hatzadik distributed food
Zerah is distributed through yesod
Light as it goes into a channel that can form a body

Yesod is a channel that transfers infinite light
It undergoes a metamophosis
In yesod
From infinite to finite light

A tzadik is a bridge
Connecting the divine realms with the human realm (nefesh beheimit)
The tzadik can free our energetic blocks
And create openings from us
To go out of tuma that distort light

2 ways of lights and vessels separated
1. Death
2. dinim: temporary: ie garden hose, the shefa is going through but someone bends the hose
the vessel is ready but theres a delay (temporary death) ; a level of suffering

The water is not accessible; tuma
Theres something blocking the flow of the light reaching the vessel

Taamuz / Reuven

Impulsivity of him stepping into his fathers sexual life
Important to note
He received a very special bechorut
Mekublim teach that while he lost the kehuna
Double portion: kehuna and leviim
He is forever the bachor; the first person in the world to do teshuva ilaa
Not from fear of punishment, but a deep desire to be in dveikut with hashem

He created a portal to teshuva mahava teshuva ilaa
Yosef yesod
Yakov the energetic tiferet

Tal orot: drops of light
An energetic experience
The separating of yakov and yosef
Began the separateness of galut

The separateness of the heart tiferet, restore flow and malchut
They got separated
If that began the galut process

geula
when yakov goes down to mitzrayim is the beginning of geula
going down for the sake of repairing
with more presence, love, reverence

when they got separated: yosef and yakov
they were studying egel harufa
there was a murder in the city and the city has to take responsibility
for what happened in that body

breaking the neck of the calf
breaking sexuality / sod / bull / all the earthy shefa energies: sexuality, food, money
our relationship to these and how we dance in these energies

when he wanted to give an energetic hint
he sent the agalot
egel: young female calf

when yakov and yosef are reunited
he testifies aidut
that daat has been restored
tiferet (heart) has been reunited with yesod

the lower sefirot and the integrating centers of the heart
the heart center the bridge between the nefesh behami and nefesh ruchani

moshe is our mother cow
para

explore the energetic map of how can something take the place of something else
k”para”
how does doing something to one entity transfer to another energy

tuma: atum: stuck, disconnected
tahara: tzohar: allowing the light to flow; unobstructed
kapara: there is an entity that can take upon itself all the tuma and in doing so can restore flow in another

how can negative energy be transfer?

Necheini na: erase me from your book. To restore connection between us and hashem.
How can an entity offer itself up.
The cohen enters into a deep state of tuma
While preparing the formula for another to enter a deep state of tahara

Question: tahara
In a mikva, in a receptive state to be brought back

Zechus of the refua sheileima of Sarah malka bas sarah

Nesivos shalom: the whole purpose of torah and mitzvot is to bring us to dveikut
Even torah: the inside pnimius is the ultimate goal / intention / experience
The point of torah is to have the experience of being close to our creator

The process of bing in relationship with our creator
Zohar: the 613 mitzvot (energy channels connecting infinite light to physical reality)
A mitzva: we do or say something in the physical world
Theres an energetic bond when consciously inviting the light in
613 opportunities that allow the connection of infinite light into the world by doing the bracha or listening to the shofar. We are opening and allowing for the portal. To vivify and add a burst of consciousness to physical reality. To reveal the underlying force in this piece of matter. Peek-a-boo.

Also can be called 613 crowns
Drawing and coming in through keter
Light in the form of potential, probability
Through a change
The light gets more concealed

If we want a blue dress (all others fall away)
These are 613 wisdom pieces of advice
To be in deep relationship
Aitza:: advise or energetic tree
Anochi omed bein hashem and you


I am standing. Between hashem and you
The anochiness: my desire to have life the way I want it to be all the time
Creates a metal barrier to dveikut

Im having a hard time of letting hashem into my life
I want my life to go the way I want it to
Every time I become obsessed with my survival
With having life go the way I want it to
Control other people
And flow
I am actually not achieving what all the mitzvot are to achieve
To have infinite flow, shefa…

And this obsession with self and my own existence

I am a vessel receiving and reflecting Hashems light
When we love our fellow human – zulat- being
That love opens up space inside us for love of hashem

Theres an energetic connection
Letting love and flow in

If im trying to fill my lack fill my lack fill my lack
It blocks the flow
Giving to zulat leads to giving to Hashem

Vkol netivotecha shalom
All the circuits are shalom
We are opening portals but we are also blocking
As we are holding on to our expectations and control

Tamuz is water
The crab
Can we soften to trusting flow the way its coming in
In the amount its coming in
And accept it as its coming

Reuven stepped in
And rearranged my fathers furniture
The flow should not be going to Bilha
It should go to Leah

Art
The red cow
This mitzvah embodies the metaphysical laws that are beyond our human vessels to process
The secrets of these energy are beyond our finite ability
How can negativity sweeten negativity
Hamtaka hadin beshoresh
A disconnection between the flow and vessel
Beshoresh
We need to garden hose back to source
Follow it back to the roots
Where did the first disconnection happen?

2 themes:
Shorashim our connection to our biological mother
The 4th house the lowest part of the circle; in the midbar: reuvon, shimon, gad lived in the south
The encampment of leviim: inner circle: next to reuven, shimon and gad was Korachs family: who your neighbors are…
The root system

The first house where you were born
The fourth house: experience first house, mother
It will also tell you details of your own death
Your root system
Will show you your ancestors.

Reu-ven
Looking at seeing my son
See the patterns, the roots
The energetic emotional spiritual physical formations
That we have and pass onto our children

If you really want to require and redirect the flow

Its useful to fix the misalignment
As far back as possible
Trace it back to earliest beginnings
Through IFS
What are the energetic patterns in your family
Ie. Over eating
See if you can go back and identify them…
It doesn’t mean in our lifetime we can fix and rewire everything.

The ages of the faces of the keruvim change
Between the keruvim is where the shechina dwells and calls hashem
Can go backwards and have dialogue with younger part of selves
And dialogue with future selves

Note: my dream of mom last night

Ifs: I posted a pic of reva emuna. It was the picture of revas vision of her future self.
Netanya: from italy: in the womb room in tisha bav workshop

Zot!!! Chukat hatorah
This embodies the metaphysical laws of the torah
How can suffering and pain and constriction what heals suffering
Why does it work??

Why can yitzchak crack the din and let the laughter out?
Yitzchak who sweetens everything
YOU have to know it
Ie. 12 step program
No therapy can help -only someone going through it
The WOUNDED HEALER
Ie tzipora and levi yitzchak meeting us

Even is someone is in deep levels of fear and control
As long as they are still alive
They have a divine spark a divine sould
And through that divine spark that person is still connected
Still pulse
The source of light and life and the vessel
Theres a limit to how much the forces of tuma can impress on a person
As long as they are alive
Aval
The minute the soul departs from the body
All that remains is a vessel of physical matter
The soul may have connection to hashem
But the physical body is in disconnection

This energy tuma
Is on that physical body
And anybody that touches the deceased body
The energy is so strong…
Why is it possible that a deceased body
Why is the tumah catchy and contagious?

Kli is talking about our capability and desire to receive.
Some have very small vessels

Ie. Kinesthesiology

Part of the reason it happens
The part of us that allows the blocks are the finite way the way life flows

The physical parts of us that are attached to physical life looking a certain way

All those attachments to how they will turn out in a finite way
Keeps up separated from flow

And then theres room for energies of tuma:
Sadness, despair, mourning

Im very sad because I am noticing how the light should turn up in finite form
The finite expression
Allows a vessel for sadness

The tikkun:
Burning the para
Because para is dinim, meaning more materiality and less light
More form, more flow…
Red is the energy of para- the most survival driven energies attached to form

Sometimes we have to burn it at the source

When youre afraid of a certain outcome
When the outcome actually happens, you get freed
After the sadness

All the energy invested in controlling it not to happen, fixing it
Mourn it
Breath it
Move on

Parah represents the physicality
Aduma ribui: the redness olam asiya, malchus.
Within the perenium: inside

Koah hatahara. The changing of elements
The fire turning the earthiness to dust and ashes
That alchemy: its returning something to its source
Fire (kaava) to dust and ashes (anava)
When anything dies it goes back to dust and ashes
He is saying its hamtakat hadinim bshoresh
Reminding myself one day I will be in the tzfat cemetary
Put that in perspective
With the awareness I will return to afar vefer
That awareness puts so much perspective of how I invest my energies

Imagine myself in my kever
What do I want to see what I did and said
From an aware place
From the perspective of my eternal self

My finite self being burned away to reveal my infinite true self

The cedar is fixing arrogance in heart: all my perspective of self hashem and other
Is a distortion in my heart: the way I want it to go

The other spectrum is to be as tiny as a worm: a red worm
David hamelech is the rectification of malchut
Called himself a Tolaat vLoIsh

This is the secret
When they die to what they think they are
They become a healing remedy

Each one dies to what it thinks it is
The para thinks it’s the survival
The adma: the source of life

At your source it afar vefer
Don’t take yourself so seriously
Each one is on a polarity
How do I see myself in the world
Burning away my attachment
To low self esteem
To the erez: a big strong tree

It will free me
All the attachment to this physical form
And to my attachment to what. I thought should be


We are not a people who want to fly out of body
The deep attachment
The flow is your friend

Something about letting it burn. Away

Tamuz
Dvekut: connection to source and self
It goes up and down and in and out
Coming home to your true self

Was supposed to be the closest connection
Mother energy
Moon rules tammuz
Moon suffered through diminishment

That’s what it was supposed to be

What happened?
Energetically
Breaking and smashing luchot
The walls of yerushalayim
Breaking and smashing of the home
Deep disconnection
Fragmentation

What it will be
17 tammuz
Will be restored as a yomtov
Revelation

3 tammuz the day the begins the fixing of the womb
Because the moon and the sun stand together at the same time
The day yehoshua (the moon) davened

Also later
Yehoshua conquers yericho
Yoreach
Moshiach can help people
By our sense of smell
How he used the shofar
To tear down the walls of the WOMB CITY

It will be
Learning to come home
Your physical mother, your first home, childhood stories
ie This is the first time not going back to my home on village st / memorial day
Lechatchila relationships
Which are able to sustain great levels of idealism

The torah of lechatchila
And bidieved

The torah of hillel, now once everything is broken, now what?
The torah of compassion
Because if everyone is smashed and broken

The torah of shamai
Once our vessel are restored
We are healed, whole and restored enough we have the strength for love on high levels

We’ve got to have patience for each other
We are not just broken vessels anymore

Yes ratzo vshov
The pulse of life
Is not shattering

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