Meditation I am not in control Rabbi Kessin
Rabbi Mendel Kessin teaches that Hashem made olam haba, then lowered Adom into olam haze with the mandate that Adom should reconstruct Olam haba consciousness. Olam Haba consciousness means living with the revealed understanding that Hashem is the Creator and that Adom is created. By rebuilding it, Adom will no longer have the feeling of being inadequate as a creation. Why? In order to rebuild the consciousness, Adom must use two divinely given gifts, free will and speech, which are creative and causative. Because free will and speech are creative and causative, which are G’dlike efforts, Adom will have olam haba consciousness along with the experience of being in a small microcosmic way of being creative like Hashem, enough to mitigate the feeling of inadequacy in never being able to be Hashem.
Think for a moment of what upsets us. When it is boiled down, can we see that it is a frustration of our will and that we believe our will is the “right thing?” We want control. We wish we were in control. But we are not. Hashem is in control.
When we understand the design, we then have the intelligence to understand the opportunity of life. The opportunity is to remember that Hashem is One and to move ourselves there, forming for ourselves an eternal identity as having chosen to use causative effort to be like Hashem when we are in a challenging situation.
In that moment when we are feeling frustrated, disconnected from what we want, we have the opportunity to do something with free will and speech that is G*d-like. That something that we can do is teshuva on having wished we were Hashem, which will correct our unique flaws and in so doing, make our unique contribution to correcting the eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.