Chukat
The Secret of the Para Aduma
Rabbanit Tova Bazak

My sister / אחותי,
What happens to you when you are done?
מה קורה לך כשאת נגמרת כשכבר
When you run out of koach / strenth,
When it seems that there is no hope / ain tikva,
When you are helpless and have lost your daas /mind / ואיבדת את הדעת?
Are you breaking האם את נשברת?
Are you closed off האם את ניתאמת?
Are you being sealed האם את נאטמת?
Are you being opened to shaar / gate of the ohr ein sof within you,

האם נעתם לך השער לאור אינסוף שבתוכך
to the foundation of hope within you?
ליסוד התקווה שבתוכך

This is the secret of the Para Aduma. זה הסוד של פרה אדומה
The Para Aduma, the Baal Shem Tov says,
has an הוראה נצחית eternal teaching,
even while the Bait Hamikdash is not yet standing on its mound.

The Para Aduma symbolizes הישות והגבהות שבתוכנו
the ego and the gaiva within us,
our hold on the החיצוני של הנפש הבהמית
outer self of the nefesh behamit.
The cow is the symbol of the animal soul.
A large, innocent cow.
The perfection of chomer / matter
פרה גדולה תמימה שלמות החומר
that has not been burdened
by the burden of the Gashmi / physical element within us.
We conduct our lives by holding on to its strength.
This is actually the source of power מקור הכוח. The nefesh behamit
The outer self.
This place is somewhere.
When it malfunctions. When it cracks.
When there is death. When there is actual death.

This is the father of all the fathers of tuma and sealing.
And when you go through small corners in the soul,
to never return to being what I was.

• I lost my job.
• Something cracked in the relationship.
• Something traumatic seems to be happening.
… when this place of being and the self cracks,
there is great panic there,
my soul is shaken,

 HKB”H / Hashem, tells us not to panic.

 Come, look at this spectacle of the Para Aduma…
 Let's make a spectacle for you,.

They take the great Para Aduma, the perfection of matter,
and the kohanim burns it into a sheaf.
ושרף אותה הכהן לעינב
Come, see it with your own eyes, with your senses.
בואי תראי את זה ממש בעיניים
How the thing you are clinging to is broken.
And don't be frightened. Don't be so bitter.
It will break its impurity, your seal.

The place that says,
"When I am finished, everything is finished.
When I have become a sheaf, nothing will happen.
And we call out
From where will my help come יקרה מאין יבוא עזרי

We take this splendor of holding on to the animal soul בנפש הבהמית
in our external poverty and turn it into
רפואה של השקטה ושל דיוק
a refua of silence and precision.
We take it, raise it in living water, במים חיים
put in it the essence of esov and a worm. אזור ותולעת
I am a worm, not a man, and a cedar tree.

You have the opportunity to grow
and make the cedar grow inside you,
precisely when you agree
for a moment to the encounter of the animal soul,
because underneath it there is a
nefesh Elokit gedola יש נפש אלוקית גדולה

מהירה ונצחית טומאה אטימה תטהרי תוהר זוהר
Great, fast, eternal, impure, sealed, purified, radiant,
open windows to a higher level of existence
of the eternal, divine part within you.מהחלק הנצחי האלוקי

In this place of healing, precision, מהחלק הנצחי האלוקי
and balance in the soul are actually
created.