Shabbat Candlelighting Meditation

I light the candles.
The flames rise —
a great light of אור גדול,
מנוחה,
שמחה.

Inhale… I lift the light into my head,
illuminating my moach with Ohr Elokut.
Exhale… I soften into my heart,
opening the chambers of my lev.

I let the glow descend,
from moach to lev to aivarim,
until my bones themselves begin to sing:
“כָּל־עַצְמוֹתַי תֹּאמַרְנָה: ה׳ מִי כָמוֹךָ”
All my bones shall say: Hashem, who is like You?

I whisper inwardly:
“וְהָיָה עֵקֶב תִּשְׁמְעוּן”
And it will be, in the heel, I will hear.

I feel my heels, my עקבים.
Grounded to the earth.
Heel to dust.
Soul bowed low.
As David HaMelech sang:
כִּ֚י שָׁ֣חָה לֶֽעָפָ֣ר נַפְשֵׁ֑נוּ דָּֽבְקָ֖ה לָאָ֣רֶץ בִּטְנֵֽנוּ
Our soul is cast down to the dust,
our belly clings to the earth.

I breathe gently into this place:
Inhale — simcha. שִׂמְחָה.
Exhale — surrender, release.

Again,
Inhale — simcha rising from the dust.
Exhale — heaviness melting into ground.

From my heels arises deeper listening.
A listening that keeps unfolding —
וְהוֹלֵךְ וְשׁוֹמֵעַ עוֹד
again and again,
until the word of Hashem fills me completely.

Inhale — I let אור גדול flood my bones.
Exhale — I feel the glow spread through every limb.

Though the weekdays hold their darkness,
Shabbat enters as a great light,
penetrating flesh and spirit,
infusing כָּל־הָאֵבָרִים with Kedusha.

וְזֶה בְּכֹחַ הַשִּׂמְחָה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בְּשַׁ״ק הַמַּחֲדִיר אוֹר אֱלוֹקוּת
By the power of simcha that Shabbat carries,
Ohr Elokut penetrates my aivarim with Ohr Elokut.

Now I let the light become song.
I hum softly a rising–falling niggun.

It shimmers first in the candle flames,
then flows upward into my moach —
illuminating my mind with clear light.
It spirals downward into my lev —
softening my heart with simcha.
It streams through my aivarim —
penetrated with Ohr Elokut,
as Shabbat breathes through my body.
Finally, the niggun descends to my עקבים,
to my heels pressing earth,
so that even dust is lifted into melody.

I stay with the hum.
It rises and falls like the breath of Shabbat itself.
Until I am wrapped,
head to heel,
in Or Gadol and in Simchat Shabbat.



____
It can be explained, in the matter of עקב — the “heels” — that within a person there are 3 Parts / ג’ החלקים:

1. Qualities of the mind / מדות המח / Includes all a person’s opinions and views.

2. Qualities of the heart / מדות הלב / includes the passions and desires / תשוקות ורצונות.

3. Qualities of the limbs / מדות האברים// האברים התחתונים, down to the heel / עקב, is the part connected to physical drives / תאוות.
   

The wholeness of a Jew /  שלמות של יהודי is when her Judaism / יהדות  permeates completely through all 3 levels — from the highest intellect to the very lowest physical limb.

As Maran Baal Yesod HaAvodah / מרן בעל יסוד העבודה  said about Rabbi Mordechai Lider זי”ע:
“His Judaism was infused from head to heel” / חדורה מראשו ועד עקבו.

This is the meaning of והיה עקב תשמעון  — a hint / רמז  to the heel / עקב, the end of the body — that hearing / שמיעה  should penetrate all the way to the heel. As Chazal / חז”ל  say: “The ear should be permeated in him up to the heel.”


והיה — is a language of joy / לשון שמחה:

Initials / ראשי תיבות: י’שמחו ה’שמים ו’תגל ה’ארץ — Yism’chu hashamayim v’tagel ha’aretz — whose initials spell י־ק־ו־ק.
This is the greatest joy Above — כאשר עקב תשמעון — when even the heel / עקב  hears.

Not only the mind and heart / מוח ולב  hear the dvar Hashem, but the hearing penetrates into the physical limbs / איברים הגשמיים, down to the heel — the very end of the body.

The Be’er Mayim Chaim / באר מים חיים  explains:
In all physical matters / ענינים גשמיים — eating, drinking, sleeping, walking / אכילה, שתיה, שינה, הליכה — there are the letters י״ה.
In matters of Divine service / עבודת ה’ — service, mitzvah, holiness, Torah / עבודה, מצוה, קדושה, תורה — there are the letters ו״ה.

Seemingly, it should have been the opposite, since י״ה is a higher level /  מדרגה than ו״ה.
But the purpose of Hashem’s will / תכלית רצון ה is that a Jew should infuse the light of Hashem /  שיהודי יחדיר את אור האלקות even into physical matters.

This is even higher than kedusha, Torah or mitzvot, for it reveals Hashem’s light in the lowest places.

Thus, והיה עקב תשמעון — the greatest joy Above is when a Jew is metaken / מתקן all the limbs / איברים down to the heel / עקב, the lowest extremity.

King David feared most the sins of the heel / עוון עקבי — not so much the sins of the mind or heart, but the failure to sanctify the most external parts of oneself.

The path to awaken the limbs

The way to awaken the limbs /  לעורר את האברים and infuse them with the light of Hashem /  אור האלקות is through awe of Heaven / יראת שמים.
While awakening the mind and heart / מוח ולב  can be done through love of Hashem / אהבת ה, the limbs / איברים  can only be awakened through fear of Hashem / יראת ה’.

There are 3 levels of Yira:
Fear of punishment / יראת העונש — knowing there is judgment and a Judge / דין ויש דיין restrains a person from the worst desires.
Fear of sin / יראת החטא — not because of punishment, but because sin itself distances from Hashem.
Awe of exaltedness / יראת הרוממות — and other higher forms of fear.

The rule is: only Yirat Shamayim / Fear of Heaven penetrates the Ohr HaElokut / the light of Hashem into the inner being / פנימיות  of the limbs, all the way to the heel.

Like rain — a sudden heavy rain wets only the surface; only steady rain soaks into the earth.
So too, occasional flashes of inspiration do not last; only consistent awe of Hashem permeates deeply.

והיה עקב תשמעון — Joy

Maran Admor Baal Beit Avraham wrote (Letter 18), 

 והיה עקב תשמעון
 אם תהיו בשמחה כי אין והיה אלא לשון שמחה

if you will hear, if you will be in joy, for the word והיה  VHaya is the  language of simcha, 
even in heel, עקב

because when our soul has sunk into dust,
when our belly cleaves to the earth,
now you will hear,
even then, simcha can rescue us.
Through joy, we rise from even the lowest descent.

For our soul is cast down to the dust, our belly clings to the earth.

 כִּ֚י שָׁ֣חָה לֶֽעָפָ֣ר נַפְשֵׁ֑נוּ דָּֽבְקָ֖ה לָאָ֣רֶץ בִּטְנֵֽנוּ

תהלים מד:כו–

 Through the Mida of Simcha, even from a lowly state, in life … the heel,
because our soul has sunk to the dust and clung to the earth in our belly,
we can be rescued from all situations, even the worst. 

והיה עקב תשמעון 
and it will be, a heel, you will hear.

For by the power of joy, שמחה,

‘שמחה הסוף יהיה שתשמעון את דבר ה
the end will be that we will hear the word of Hashem.. 

והיה אם שמוע תשמעו אל מצוותי 

"And it shall come to pass, if you listen to my mitzvot
by the power of simcha כח השמחה,

One who hears once,
by koach ha-simcha,
hears again and again —
והולך ושומע עוד,

until we reach the degree of serving Him with

לעבדו בכל לבבכם ובכל נפשכם
until the heart and the soul
are given over completely
which is the highest degree.

And that is, by the power of simcha כח השמחה
one can reach all the highest degrees. 

This is Shabbos Kodesh! 
יש כח של שמחה this power of simcha elyon
illuminates the bones,
pierces the flesh,
and enters the aivarim with Ohr Elokut.

And even though all the days of the week are in darkness,
yet in the on Shabbos we are benefiting an ohr gadol, a great light, the light of shabbos

This is the koach of simcha which is Shabbos that penetrates our aivarim with Ohr Elokut
וזה בכח השמחה שיש בש"ק המחדיר אור אלקות

Shabbos is the madrega of  “״והיה עקב תשמעון

Which is a remez /hint 
Because the letters of שב"ת Shabbat are hidden in the words:

והיה עקב' ת'ש'מעון

Within its letters lies שב״ת.
Shabbos is the heel that listens,
the resting-place where darkness lifts,
the great light that floods the week.

Through Shabbos, we merit that
“כל עצמותי תאמרנה ה׳ מי כמוך”
All my bones shall say: Hashem, who is like You?