3 Weeks 1 of 3 7-15 Distance is the new capacity for Closeness

Hakdama / Series of 3 weeks - Rabbi Labinsky
July 15, 2019 / 12 Tammuz

 Hakdama / Series of 3 weeks - Rabbi Labinsky
July 15, 2019 / 12 Tammuz
 in the memory of Reuven Tzvi ben Esther Baila
in the  heat of the summer
nature fully bloomed
the mode of the 3 weeks
is progressively diminishing our physical pleasures
to a level of physical scarcity
it can be a darkening
but it can be a reconciliation to reflect the light
How to live both?
12 months divided into 4 quarters sanctifying time:
1.     tekufas Tishrei
2.     tekufas teves
3.     tekufas nissan
4.     tekufas tammuz (Av and Elul)
A complete cycle to bring HKBH into your life
final tekufa  / the final Hey: gillui sheleimus
greatest amount of light, heat, blossoming
in teva and ruchnius
YKVK  the formation of the tekufa of Tammuz is HVHY
shaym havaya in reverse!
this is a time of reverse mazal
A dual reality
1.          a time to reveal HKBH in our lives; Going back to R”H
2. in this time period we are met with tremendous opposition
we may have tremendous excitement; from all the ruchnious growth we did throughout the year which brought tremendous brochos B”H
But also the other side of life; How fully do we want to reveal HKBH in OUR domain?
1.          On the one hand we want to have a good time
2.          But we must fight fiercely for everything is coming to full harvest
Example: farmers worked hard, and then they decided, we will take a 2 month break, when they come back, the grains withered, “How can that be? we worked so hard!”
Why? Because we forgot to pick it, gather it, coalesce them, focus them and to wrap up the year and prepare for the next year!
We get to this tremendous climax and then in the depth, we can sow the seeds for the upcoming year.
3 weeks seems to be mourning-based; scarcity
Rabbi Labinsky suggests the following:
Its much bigger than deprivation!
“any one who mourns the Bais Hamikdosh will be sama’ach in its restoration”
the final Hey is coming into fruition
the vulnerabilities to be expressed in this world
vulnerability approach.
the time period is bain ha metzoraim
3 specific haftorahs about tragedies
when we are vulnerable to outside forces
7 weeks that follow: of nechama (following tishabav)
inyyanim of consolation
= its a package of 10 weeks
10 sefirot
one complete package
completing one year and preparing the potential for next year.
This potential starts the 3 weeks!
The beginning of the 3 weeks is the the beginning of preparing of R”H
sof maase machshava tehilla
You may say, “give me a breather!
I have to think about rosh hashana- NOW?”
We are given a mahalach how to get real with this
what to avoid during the 3 weeks
about mourning
aninus is the most intense form of mourning
kevora / shiva  / mourning
3 weeks availus in reverse!
4 stages
going from light to most extreme
3 weeks > 9 days > actual week tishabav> tisha bav
since chazal were mezakein: detaching (in reverse), it has the opposite objective!
mourning the BaisHaMikdash
not mourning to grieve
grieving to acknowledge what we lost
but not truly lost
but if we do our avoda / yearning for temple
then availus causes the shechina to return to this world
KNOWING it was never gone
3 weeks correspond to the upper 3 sefirot where things don’t make sense
keter, chochma, bina
keter: realm of yearning; the emunah to know what we can see and not see; our suffering is meant to FLIP the very nature of distancing
Though it may SEEMS LIKE the suffering is too much
Here too HKBH is to be found
the suffering is used to motivate us
it’s a cry to action
to awaken the ratzon
to yearn to come back
from 17 Tammuz to Tishabav
external deprivation to internal
try to embrace the ways we feel distant
to our selves, each other & HKB”H
to have a renewed sense of closeness
through the distancing itself
the whole package of the 10 weeks
closes 5779 and opens 5780 R”H
opposed to RH of revealed closeness
Awakening of the ratzon
 we experience 3 weeks to look into the concealed world of our self
tremendous idealism and hope
going deep into suffering
planted are the seeds that have been diminished
the ARIZ’L on ben ha mitzarim
yom tzara: tzadi – resh - hey
turned around ratzah: resh - tzadi - hey
what pushes us away has opposite position
awakening of the ratzon
deepening our desire to be close to the shechina
in the 3 weeks
we will see the awakening
reveal the shechina b’shleimas
“there’s nothing that can exist in this world without you, Tatty”
R’H is positivity
it is rooted into the ratzon of the 3 weeks
final hey
final tekufas tammuz
resh tzadi hey
tzohar: tzadi hei reish / shining
Till the last day of Elul, the whole preparation of rosh hashana is rooted in Rosh Chodesh Tammuz
that’s how we are approaching tammuz
with rigor; when it seems distancing
so bold to suggest we
mourn with a higher purpose
the tzohar
with ultimate joy
I see that no loss is for nothing
every bit of challenge / pain / distance is there for HKBH to exist
it can be an unbelievable way to celebrate for this year.
to declare the whole universe as his Makom.
End shiur
I experienced not so long ago, pesach> shavuos
Im a free person!
I have to go over this again!?
Why bringing me back to shibud for?
is it a replication?
there’s kedusha in the zman
a soulful development in the zman
once you start pesach
zman bedika > to zman kiruv
1.   tishri: our potential
2.   teves: on the inside
3.  nisan  partially reveal ; leaving shibud
4.   Tammuz: shleimus: full revelation; shaym YKVK
recreating every year; 4th tekufa
We don’t want H’ to be partially in this world.
We have to be willing to tackle the physical world.
the final Hey
to fully express HKBH in the ultimate expression
Its compared to the last trimester
of a baby being fully developed
the most intense time
ikva dmashicha
the whole tekufa of the year has that
ruchnius time / gashmius time
During the final tekufa, H’ is fully in our lives.
no place where H’ isn’t
the 3 Weeks is there to use our pain
to convert to closeness
that’s how you bring H’ fully into our reality
It’s a labor process
when you you have deep tzar
the end of the labor process, deep pain
birthing requires the work of
relaxing to allow yourself to be open
the goal is to create a higher breathing place in the tzara
gam po / H’ is also here
then we can be zoche to the Bais HaMikdash
When the aaretz is fully expanded
fully revealed
the soton works overtime
to NOT connect the YKV with the final H
At the time of the most light and heat we are systematically transitioning mourning into divine morning
 there’s not a place we are not willing to bring H’ in
a very profound thing to want the thing you were distanced from
the anti force is propelling the inertia
really saying
every place he IS
mourn with a higher purpose
developing our bein adam vatzmo
know yourself
how do deal with moments of distancing
how do we relate? fight flight or flee
we don’t want to be frozen by the nefesh behamis
just because you’re distant doesn’t mean I’m not connected

I’m going to dedicate myself to live connected to you
Becoming positive in a withdrawing situation
its natural to not to face our pain / go to the beach, listen to music
i can’t face it!
How do we face it?
When we have the suffering
a rebbi dedicated to his Talmudim
he went to rescue his talmud
the depth of him being washed away
in truth
he was a beautiful neshama
ultimate relationship talmudim lbanim
we want to be washed away with the pain
his soul disappeared for a week
I’m numbing out / fight or flight
HKBH wants the middle point
we can’t wash away the pain
what do you want for us?
its the pain of klal yisroel
we can’t take it anymore
everything HKBH allows it to happen
using the tzara to stir a ratza
a close relationship for a rebbi to talmud
people in the undertow of our life!
mayim is also taivas
tehillim is not enough!!!!!
a full gilui of sheleimus in this world
no one is impervious to being towed out
we should be dedicated to do the right thing for ourselves and for others
imperative to think about this mind boggling example
an all encompassing relationship with Him
its harder to live every day with misiras nefesh
the Elokus in ourselves
that’s the shechina
yearning means i want it more that anything
H’ is wakening our selves up to be
on that level
H’ is yearning for us and He means business
there’s a purpose of creation
Theres no room for indulgence of the ego
to tune out
We need to hold the space for that pain
you are being pushed away
leverage back to wanting
to connect to the source
if im afraid of not mattering
i want to be connected to the source of the creation
i am committed to seeing that
how to convert sorrow into ratzon?
You cannot allow your self to be washed out in your pain
hamakom yenachem eschem
it means H’ can hold space for creation
the pain
is the renewed closeness for pure yearning
it’s a paradox
distance creates the yearning to come back
NOTHING is going to take me away
how much are we going to be misavel?
i hide  / you seek / and we find each other
gillui  haShechina
“Tatty you’re the Makom for everything
all you want is my complete dedication”
The pain and suffering of these incredible neshamas
have an ultimate appreciation of what they gave up
make sure its lasting
cry to action
whatever it takes to come close to HKBH
will bring greater simcha
HKBH wants this. He wants us to learn.
someone had to do this mesiras nefesh for his talmid
See the El-kut in one another
“I am distant from __. I want to be close to him”
question: inner or klal tzara ?
klal:  ie. a marriage breaking up
if you don’t cry; there’s something wrong
you have to feel
kiruv: you have to help them
3 tiered way
1.          personal/public tzaros / klal/Prat
2.          see they are not mutually exclusive
will see in both; will mirror
3.          highest: same: personal=klal
if another Jew is suffering next door , you cannot feel great. We are One and the same. No matter how thrilled you are at a chuppa. all the time the B”Hamik is not here. much harder to have a G-dly marriage. Its your own personal tzara.
Recognize the Importance of our lives being so incredibly intertwined.
As deep as this pain is, it must produce an awakening to tshuva with extra commitment.
especially in this final tekufa; everything is speeding up.
ultimately the klal is in every person; ever person is a micro-expression of the klal.
HKBH means business:
·       hold the space
·       embrace the pain
·       deal in a correct way
·       reconvert the energy of the pain
·       reveal H’ in the fullest way
You do not have the luxury to tune out!!!!
or get absorbed in it
You need to find the middle ground.
Have a chavrusa to internalize
time is essential
lofty living on the ground
the world order will shift
tisha bav mashiach will be here
rw: How do we discuss the tragedy on a klal level?
H brought it to us
we have to do what we can
we have to think about it
spawn conversations
not its a little hisorurus
need deep changes

every year the temple is being destroyed
if we were affected by the death: direct, less direct , or indirect
this is a klal pain
commit to actions / challenge our selves
We don’t have the luxury anymore to be quiet
make real changes
question: confronting the pain
connecting it on a klal level
constantly doing the inner work
its not just this time of the year
root to branch
main time is ocean; rest of the year is the faucet
the source is where the overall capacity is
there’s a special hisorarus for this overall avoda
which will be extending to the whole year
tziuya- for the whole year
it doesn’t  exempt you from the rest of the year
will give you the reservoir for the whole year
ability to hold space for peiros
we must heal in the deepest broadest ways
harhakos - distancing
awaken an unbelievable place of yearning
pain is the packaging / the diamond is the yearning
feel the halacha correctly
bring hashkofa in the halacha
people get caught up in the halacha
you miss the soul of the matter
hold bigger space for bigger tzara
a bigger makom for tzohar
the yiddish neshama needs to be complete
master all the holidays
maybe inclined to related to some holidays more than others
maybe you don’t like the pain and suffering of this time of year
it is a meeting of closeness with the distance
while its a time of distance in time and space
our job is not only to tolerate the distance
but to make the distance as CLOSENESS to our selves, each other and HKBH.
the distance itself is the potential for closeness
it’s there to make a bigger place
to embrace it
lofty living where we can contribute
to klal yisrael for all generation
we can honestly say we had a portion in it!
distance is the new capacity for deepened and widened closeness
this is the wellspring for ourselves and ganze Klal Yisrael