Parashat Chayei Sarah

Cheshvan 5785

Based on Netivot Shalom
 והסר שטן מלפנינו ומאחרינו
v'haser satan mil'faneinu u'mei'achoreinu
And remove Satan from before us and from behind us.

I find this dvar Torah to be very helpful in withstanding the temptation during a nefila / fall after standing up to a or trigger and even a success! Be conscious afterwards … of the “Satan Achaeinu”. This is the next step of being in awareness AFTER a victory, succeeding in not falling into our old stories / addictive behavior/ attachments, and being able to BE a source of light and bracha in the world and to those around us… to expand our vessel to mekabel, to receive and be in the state of both physical and spiritual abundance and pleasure / oneg of being in dveikut / connection with our Creator.

–Rochel Leah, Cheshvan 5785

* * *

Before reciting the Shmona Esrei of the evening Ma'ariv, we beseech / מבקש Hashem to remove the Satan from BEFORE us and from BEHIND us. והסר שטן מלפנינו ומאחרינו. What does this mean?

כָּ֥ל עַצְמֹתַ֨י | תֹּאמַרְנָה֘ יְהֹוָ֗ה מִ֥י כָ֫מ֥וֹךָ
מַצִּ֣יל עָ֖נִי מֵֽחָזָ֣ק מִמֶּ֑נּוּ וְעָנִ֥י וְ֜אֶבְי֗וֹן מִגֹּֽזְלֽוֹ:

All my bones shall say, Hashem, who is like You,
Who saves a poor man from one stronger than he
and a poor man and a needy one from one who robs him.
Tehillim 35:10

The Satan is the evil inclination (yetzer hara) that challenges our connection to Hashem.

1. Satan m’Lifneinu, the yetzer hara tries to overpower us BEFORE we do a mitzva or a nisayon to prevent us from fulfilling the mitzvah so we will not overcome the nisayon / test. Ie. Avraham’s nisayon of the Akeida / the binding of Yitzhak. The satan tried to conspire and plan to block him from the test, and following through with the mitzvah.*

2.  Satan m’Acharinu that tries to overpower us AFTER  the deed. It wants to take from us that which we have already achieved. By means of machshavat Hansa’ot, haughty thoughts. The Maggid of Meseritch teaches that when we conduct ourselves in an elevated and illuminated seder / schedule of a Jewish persons day. Ie. We get up in the morning and pray with kavanot. And after we learn the hidden and revealed Torah, and after we rise in our tefilla to all the world Asiya, Yetzira, Beriya Atzilut… and we feel elevated, connected, in dveikus… then the satan comes after us, which is more dangerous and says… “Oh you think you’re so holy…”

The Torah teaches us that the life of a Yehudi has nisayonot before we go to fulfill the yichud of mitzva. And when we attempt to turn from Ra / (being separated from Hashem), when turning from evil the yetz hara mtgaber, overpowers her in these taivot/ physical desires. We need to strengthen on this nisayon AFTER. Because even if we strengthen ourselves before , then the yetzer hara returns AFTER, saying “You didn’t really have to do that mitzva. It was really neged/ against  the will /ratzon Hashem”. And she chas vshalom  she comes to regret the good that she did. The Torah teaches us that there is the yetzer hara conspires and it wants to block us. / Avraham Avinu in our thoughts to achieve our elevated higher goal. And Avraham withstood all the parts of the nisayonot, meaning before and after milfaneinu and achreinu.

אמר אביי: נקטינן [מוחזקים אנו] — אין עני אלא בדעה. כלומר, עוני אמיתי הוא עניות הדעת, וכדברי רב נחמן, שהרי זה חוסר כל.

Abaye said: We hold that there is no poverty except in Daas. That is, true poverty is poverty of mind, and as Rav Nachman says, it is a lack of everything. (Nedarim 41)

 HKB”H saves the ani / poor, ie. Us, when we lose our Daas, and strengthens us from the yetz hara that is triggering us and tries to overpower us. And saves us so we can stand in the nisayon and be strengthened in our taiva/ addictive behavior. And the attempts to steal that which you already have withstood in the nisayon BEFORE and overpowered your taiva. Ie. Not eating the food which is not good for your body…  So the yetzer hara wants to steal from you what you already achieved. And HKBH saves us /the oni and the avyon from this theft. From the satan achairunu that he can’t steal from us the tov that we did.

SUMMARY:
The Satan "before us" is the yetzer hara that tries to prevent us from performing mitzvot and following the Divine will. If the yetzer hara does not succeed in convincing us to give up before we've even started, however, it tries again after the fact. This is the Satan "after us," that wants to undo the positive effect of the mitzvot we have performed by causing us to regret our actions. If the yetzer hara can make us think we've lost out in some way by doing mitzvot, then we are robbed of the reward for performing them.

Thus, we ask Hashem both for the strength to resist temptation "before us" - so that we can carry out His will, as well as for the ability to remain committed to our decisions after the fact and not lose the reward.

May we learn from Avraham avinu, who strenghened himself in the nisayonot /tests both before and after the mitzva. May we be zoche to perform all the mitzvot and achieve all our goals and mission / yeud in the world and to be happy with them, knowing with certainty that no negativity or bitterness is caused by our fulfillment of hashgacha pratit / the Divine will. May our performance of mitzvot with this shleimut / wholeness cause us brachot and zechut - both in this world and the next.

*[When Avraham heard that Sarah had died, he could easily have regretted following Hashem's will. This would have been an understandable reaction; after all, his obedience to God resulted in the death of his beloved wife! Yet Abraham understood the tremendous power of regret to undo the effect of past actions. Had Avraham regretted bringing Yitzchak as an offering, countless future generations would have lost the ability to draw from the zchut / merit of his actions. Therefore, Avraham cried only a little bit (the small כ  in the word CRY) over the passing of his beloved wife to show that, despite the challenges, he did not regret having performed the Hashem’s ratzon will. He knew that there are no negative consequences to performing mitzvot wholeheartedly, and that his actions could therefore not have been the true cause of Sarah's death. In fact, it was her time to pass, she fulfilled all her days in her life. This was the Satan’s coniving way of bringing Avraham to depression / regret / doubt. In overcoming this test nisayon of emunah, Abraham preserved the zechut/ merit of the Akeida as a powerful inheritance for us in later generations.]