3Weeks 3 of 3 7-29 Rabbi Labinsky

26 Tammuz 29 july
(Shaym havaya 26)
 
3 weeks / Summertime
etzum goal transfer his to —
spiritual distance
deepened connection to oneself and H’
the revelation of light comes davka through the divisivness itself
 
language of arizal 3 weeks
lashonos
ben ha metzara
H’ will answer us on the days of our tzara
travails will ultimately mevatel anochious
 
resh tzadi
travails waken a higher yearning
ratza
 
then by internalizing the yearning
 
speak
emotion into action
reawaken H’s presence in the world
 
tzohar
full rectification
 
tricking yetzer hara to say
being an optomist not a fatalist
 
in the brokenness is the very correction
 
PEACE
ALONE LEVAD
ALL ONE
YICHUD H
 
the koach and siyata dishmaya of 3 weeks
 
please tattale help me to hold an opeimistic space to bring back to you in the most helpful place
 
asking for this in 3 weeks.
 
share:
many years ago was hurt by someone - discussing who can teach in an institution. someone who i though was a friend said she cant teach. keeping quiet all these years. all these contortions. this person is an important person. this needs to be fixed. we should be fixing it. highest in whatever H’ wants me to do…
may you be blessed in your mashbia
 
answer: someone sees themselves as mashbia.
more tznanua, bring people up. Very tricky. rechilus. you were privy to share something they should not have said. even if we have high inspirations to teach. it can be misquoted, as she is not a good teacher. no way of truly understanding. if i see myself as a mashbia and i am not being judged as suitable
 
tzara
ratza: H’. the fact i was excluded. the pain i am feeling now is because i yearn so deeply to mashbia to bring people out of their suffering. i want that more than anyithing. i mamash want to be  a shaliach for YOU. Represent kavod shamayim
i want to teach your torah. my deepest learning to awaken people to higher daas
 
enter conscious mind
speak that way to yourself
“Tatty whatever you want me to teach. i am going to mekabel. and yearn to teach the right way. and in the right time i will teach in the right way in the right time.
 
the real issue is i thought was my friend.
 
can friends make distinctions. not shame them or detract from credibiltiy. no one says they are not your friend.
Youre not right for this and not for that.
 
loshon hara was violated. not bringing higher good
 
do it away. what friendship is all about.
no one has a perfect filter to give it over. to confront someone through hearsay., its not LSHMA.
 
KINA TAIVA KAVOD take a person from the world
 
friendship does not mean aquiescing.
 
assessing myself very honestly. if someone doesnt understand me they
 
Tova lbracha
someones unilateral way to thinking
may they be able to increase and expand their level of torah
 
release the jealousy.
 
a friend is someone willing to be tochacha, to be the best you can be
 
you be the most loyal friend. let her teach you what it means to be a loyal friend. she will teach you how to be the most amazing friend.
 
share:
ayn od milvado issue
 
tzara
ratza
tzohar
 
see the revealed light
your going to have emunah that its there
even tho you know thats what it is
you’re not going to see it
 
how to hold space to those who are different
 
ayn od milvado issue
prat: must go deeper
important to challenge that
 
if you don’t descend you can fool your self you are on a high level
 

Struggling with Parnasa

pnimius
H’ use me.
Im not sure if the wall is coming from inside. chitzoni. theres a wall and go past it. being fully what H’ wants me to do.
 
money:
visualiz
MONEY
CHITZONY
MY
 
PNIMI ONE
its very hard to mevatel the anochius of money
 
tzara in money
 
chush of whats being said:
chitzony: my
divided
wherever you have something in chitzonius
tzara does with money
separated
 
go to a place of ratza
i want to see the inner levels
pnimius of money
ONE
I WANT TO SEE THE yichud H’ in my
relationship with money NOW
 
tzohar / sweetening
back into the my
THE MY IS NOW H
 
its my money i am giving to you
your money
 
the my IS SIMPLY
H’s endowment
 
came down from the oneness
 1. tzara
2.  ratzon
3.  tzohar
 
 
hardest part of the my. I worked HARD. whatever you perceive.
real reflection of anochius of money
 
under-compensation or over-compension
 
whatever the my is that you have to introspect on
the general relationship with HKBH
you can be real with yichud H in all area
 
you cant get any clearer than this
theres so much manna pouring in
 
tzohar
the consciousness more real
H’s MY
as an endowment
very important to give maaser
1/10 to reflect the other 9
lower 10th malchus
 
i have nothing of my own
the hisbatlus of the — of money
 
i dont want to relate to money practically
only related to you
down to malchus
i dont feel i own any of it
 
released yourself of the burden of money
 
shalom
shalom and bracha together
 
mevorech et amo bshalom
 
perceive yichud H
if you are accountable and responsible
 
G-dly
only as an endowment in a __ way
 
its not mine
the more i give it away
maaser
interna
 
meme malchus
eser - 10 sefiros
 
even if youre a great earner
bring it into your current circumstance
 
i am putting my survival
nefest elokis
i only depend on you Tatty
giving up my My
 
relate to the money as only your money
much deeper capacity
 
how clean is this.
how often
 
shefa bracha comes
im going to yearn
when is the right to be mashbia
with klal yisroel
 
like a kli rishon
keep it burning
it will come in a sweet way.
 
challenge where did your relationship come from
with parents
which parts need to mekabul
clarify
 
youll need to know where to do the avoda of yichud H’
by mevatul
 
angst of having no money for learning
I want to learn day and night
rabbi rotman
H’ talks to us through teva
maybe shift your life direction
 
not having any money to live on, go to semicha program, shifting the focus. i was looking at the angst, H’ trying to up your angst,
 
H’ doesnt deprive us. he gives us based on what we are meant to do
 
HKBH titanic 350 million dollars to a group of people that glorified heresy. kol v chomer. he should be willing to give us to reveal his glory. how REAL DO WE WANT TO SERVE HKBH
 
how do we deal with deep yearning
untill it is gilui - totally revealed
 
Tatty loves us
challenge our survival
nefesh elokis
 
deeper untill the full gilui
___
L:
4 year old daughter
 
pain with child
your just not getting it with the frustration thats so deep
i want to hear you tatty
please help me to see why i am not see it
 
hold space with the angst
until your going to pass out
what does this precious neshama know
you are clearly talking to me through her
 
i am going to beseach you
because you gave me this child to talk to this soul
 
tzara to ratzon
 
just like i see in her
she is not capable
 
go to those places till your heart is liquified
i dont know what i dont hear
you will hear what HKBH wants
 
strip your ego
just like the phone being thrown out
i want to hear it with the purity
of heart
he will show you
you will be able to open it up in you
 
it was all for me!
to awaken for me
 
how interconnected we are as klal yisros
to awaken me to tshuva gamor
 
what if i know if im not listing
 
tzara ratzon tzohar
 
whatever it is
 
the emotion is the inner vitality to pierce me
its all yours so i can break through my barriers
take it to heart
more patience, love, tolerence
 
if i perceive it correctly
ill be able to see it
 
whatever it takes
 
h” is exacting
to grow to higher places
 
will thank your daughter immensely
 
how to turn terrible 2s
 
turn difficult times to times
angst with child is reflecting bakc
 
core of what it really is
 
simplicity
be a crying wining child
direct that emother back to HKBD
ODD until he opens your ears
then when the light comes in
tzohar
youll praize him for the tzara
yom tzara
 
if youre willing to see the toeles
as the higher good.
 
whole 3 weeks
 
A:
My heart want to yearn… Why do we need to feel
We say in Aleinu: Yadati HaYom levavecha
Convert intellectual clarity to EMOTIONAL REALISM.
 
ACTUALITY fully revealed in the world
 
How important and relevant Emotion is….
REGESH>GESHER bridge
What is the bridge…THE EMOTION!!!
 
We need to FEEL / INTERNALIZE / INTEGRATE
That’s why we need to feel
If we are NUMBING THE EMOTION
And not feeling to the fullest capacity
To transfer AHAVA & YIRA
The 2 ventricals OF THE HEART
 
Not shamed
I WANT MY EMOTION.
Complicated
AHAVA & YIRA
Why? I want a WHOLE HEART THAT CAN FEEL YOU!
HISKALLELUS= AHAVA + YIRA
 
TZOHAR, YIRA
ALEF –HEY – RESH- BEIT – HEH
(LISTEN TO THIS AGAIN…)
Interinclusion
 
Tatty, I WANT TO FEEL THE FULL RANGE OF EMOTIONS. I WANT to love and fear.
Unify every emotion. That’s what I want
 
Klippas to mealt away
Opening my heart to you
FEEL IS NOT AN “F” WORD
It mobilizes me
Yira
Comes out in action
FEEL YICHUD H’
A much bigger challenge
Emotion tied to SHEKER
Tied to anochius
TRAZON FROM TZARA
 
My heart comes more porous
Interincluding the lexicon of emotions
Because I want to build a bridge
Be more unified
Heart fully open
You want to feel EVERYTHING
H’ is TINGLING IN YOUR BODY
Your GUT WILL FEEL
DO NOT STOP TILL YOUR HEART OPENS
 
Klipa= PLAQUE
LKALEF = to peel away
TZOHAR: TO be blessed to FEEL EVERYTHING!!!
Every place in the world
 
How real do we want to be with H-shem???
 
R: feel the distance
Twenty year old child
Out growth of your very being
Very intimately connceted
Hard to imagine a distance
CREATION TO CREATOR
Suckling separateness
Very hard thing to reconsider
To create space for…
 
So clear and pure
Once a child is born
 
1.    dependency- childe cant perceive itself
2.    childe slowly weaning off mother; recognizes individuality; we don’t want to lose dependency; IN DEPENDENT STATE; Individuate more
3.    Independent to IN TER DEPENDENT
Once healthy sense of dependence and independece: hiskashrus to INTERDEPENDENT
Deepen sense of closeness
4.    FINAL TRANSCENDENCE
Interdependence, intimacy – only a stepping stone
Tatty, May the divine presence reveal uniquely through meaning
Maybe if once hasn’t transistioned properly…
 
Theres a complex system of how to transform closeness > DISTANCE
TO EVOLVE THEIR OWN WAY THROUGH BECHIRA
 
The profundity to help a child evolve
You can only take A CHILD AS FAR S YOU’VE GONE YOURSELF!!!
BECAUSE YOU!!! HAVENT INDIVIDUATED YET
 
Ø  Interdependence
If you give over yourself
Go to your own INTERDEPENDENCE
 
TRANSCENDENCE to feel ulimate but yet cant give up yourself. Then you cant model transcendence
 
4 core stages of relationship
Where are YOU holding???
Where are YOU struggling with???
 
H’ is distracting.
He is on the cellular fiber of your soul
Everything that plays out with your children!!!!
 
Tk them seriously
Them
Our development
Rectifying
 
We are a tree / they are the branches
 
Steipler: when does a person stop davening for hatzlacha for their children? I cant wrap my hands across the question.. I pour my heart out every day for my child to be yeras shamayim.
As long as Im in this word!!!
 
Thant he should be as holy as he could be
Endless striving
 
I’m ok with separateness
Only helping
Will come back CLOSER
 
Yes we have distance
I will not get discouraged
New hiskarvnus (renewal)
Closeness from distance
In the opposite
 
Zela uLaZeh
The new action
Will reveal H.
Do not be afraid of opposits
 
Draw on this
Comes from the 3 weeks
Hold on tight!
Deepen our capacity
Dig a little deeper
Innermost design of the soul
 
Fighting for the shechina in this world
Take this koach
As a labor of love
BE BOLD, COURAGEOUS
 
WARRIORS NOT WORRIERS
Real geula
This year
 
For the ultimate shechina
We did our part
 
__
shift to recognizing I’m having an experience with H’ and its for my ulitmate good
 
take from darkness, revealed Elokim
feeling compassion for H’
not
how coud HE treat me like that!
Instead draw the light from the dark
Bina= Eloking
Malkus = Shifles; Lenient judgement
4 letter Name= Tiferes
without expanded chochma we are stuck
“oh no! this is not going to work out!”
 
Look up
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS LOOK UP
H’ is doing everything
H’ lives within you
You see how ridiculous things are
 
H’ is not personal
The Yetzer Hara wants you to take it PERSONALLY