Elevated Subjectivity Shuli Kleinman Aug 21, 2019 / 20 Av
R: I was experiencing being trapped in a negative thought pattern (tohu v’vohu); a feeling of disconnection. There was no outward negativity, however I saw people just looking inward, avoiding eye contact, other than an occasional polite smile. I was seeing walls between us … and I thought, “We have so much work to do with Ahavas Yisrael.” Then I thought... “Maybe this perception is all in my head? The disconnect and aloneness – like everyone was dancing to their own tune and not tuning in to each other. Maybe if I were to be more open and connective.... Maybe I need to be less judgmental and break down my own walls.” After reflecting, I came to the realization that I have to serve Hashem בתמימות . No judgements... I have to work on eliminating negativity biases based on the stories I’ve been telling myself. It is an avoda and mesiras nefesh. This will reveal H’s light, which will result in reflecting the light of others. We will point to each other in the ma’agal (circle) of the geula and see our nefesh Elokis mirrored from them - with HKB”H radiating from the center.
S: Do you see the thought template pattern... >lack, >what does that feel like or mean for me? This is the battering our thinking is trapped in... this is where we tell H-shem we have compassion on the Shechina (our own soul and life force) that it should not be brought into this subjective pattern. This is how we do the mitzvah of guarding our soul.Then describe each piece as you did above so well, so the light within the interpretation (the chaos) flows back to its Source, looking at it from a place of being objective which means from Hashem's point of view. Will to use life force for Torah and mitzvahs because of love for H-shem and realization of His Love and that He is doing everything. This creates a "vacuum" in the mind available for Torah and mitzvahs, into which the Source may flow...and then go do goodness, give a bracha, Ahavas Yisrael, learning, prayer, mitzvahs…
R: It’s interesting how I didn’t apply ratzo vshav in this case. The pattern was so “normal” and subtle. I wouldn’t describe it as a seething, fire - like other times - so it just didn’t occur to me. Sometimes we are so familiar with it that is seems “regular”. It’s only because of our work that I even recognized it as something that even has the possibility to elevate / metaken. Now I will be able to access this message - next time.
As long as we stay in subjectivity we haven’t done anything.
”I’d like to have elevated subjectivity”
Objectivity is the inner space within our selves
Separating the intensity from the messages.
You see the messages
You see the force
You are CYCLING!!!!!
2. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR ME? You are teiching the situation and interpreting it is our NATURAL THINKING
There’s a force
Our own life force
Its a paradox because
H’ is all-Loving!
Taking the Shechina
And forcing it out
by thinking something is lacking
When we recognize we are in natural thinking
We have to realize ITS NOT TRUE!
H’ IS DOING EVERYTHING
AND IS ALL LOVING
WE ARE COMFORTABLE IN OUR SUBJECTIVITY!!!!
So it is natural
The Yetzer Hara is controlling our mind
We are feeling the Shechina in Exile
THE TEMPLATE IS THE SAME!!!!!
TOHU = EMPTINESS
The consciousness is rooted He is surrounding our body with light (makif)
But our consciousness is in Tohu VVohu
Send the concealed light back to its source
That’s the plan!!!
THE INFINITE LIGHT IS CONCEALED!
· H’ designs the soul
· Continues to Tohu VVohu
· Experience Infinite light
· Submit our Negative thinking
· Infinite light is swirling
· Return it to H’
· Creates an empty place
· So the SOURCE OF THE LIGHT CAN ENTER
· THAT’S THE HEALING!!!!!!
The stars are in the sky
The sun is there
If not, we would also see the stars
We don’t see the sun
We experience the light of the sun
If you were close to the sun, you would see a fireball
Instead of happiness
We sink down into frustration and loneliness
H’ I want YOU here in this circle
Maybe they don’t know how to do that.
In this frustration is the concealed light
I will take this interpretation
And send it back to YOU
Who is All Loving
And who is doing EVERYTHING
May it be that All the Jewish people should
Make this connection
This is the role of the Jewish nation.
There’s room to let go of the despair!!!!
We don’t know if that’s the best thing
For people to let the barriers down
I personally can do it
Bring it to the level of elevation and bracha
Can say I was so happy to be there…
Follow the template!
It could be so much better
THEY ARE NOT DOING IT WE can create an opportunity
For REVEALED LIGHT THROUGH A BRACHA
MY SOUL IN THAT MOMENT
CAN REVEAL LIGHT IN THE MOMENT!
WE BRING IT IN THE LIGHT
NOT point a finger IN JUDGEMENT but….
FACE THE CHALLENGE
We are only a channel
He is doing everything
If we go to the circumstances
We don’t do anything!!!
HERE’S THE FORCE
HERE’S THE PATTERN
I DON’T WANT IT!!!!
I WANT TO TAKE ALL THIS LIGHT
And bring it to the Jewish People for Repair
This is the whole point!!!
This is expanded awareness
Elevated subjectivity With only LOVE IN YOUR HEART.
Through YOU the light comes into the world
REAL NEW LIGHT!!!
Was trapped in Tohu VVohu
And came into the world in this BRACHA
That YOU made
In H’s Presence.
HE’S CALLING UPON YOU
TO FUNCTION AS THE SOUL OF THE JEWISH PEOPLE
TRANSFORMING INTO A LIGHT
You are a vessel
H’ is the blood We are HERE TO HAVE CLOGGED ARTERIES!
He intentionally clogged the arteries
In order to repair the world
We just have a BAD ATTITUDE
WE SHOULD BE ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT THIS
We should activate our zerizus in bringing infinite light into our subjectivity
Tell her how much you love her!
How proud you are of her!
EXPAND YOUR SOUL!!!
ITS NOT ABOUT ME.
Taking the Tohu VVohu
And making room
For the nefesh Elokis
To come forward
With Torah, avoda, and gemilus chesed
We are NOTHING
We are a part of HIM Its not a put down
We are NOTHING
It’s an expanded understanding.
We are just a vessel
He is sustaining our body
Our nervous system etc etc
WE ARE NOT DOING ITHE IS SUSTAINING MY NEFESH ELOKIS
What am I doing??????
I am recognizing Him.
I am submitting Natural Feelings
So that the INFINITE LIGHT
Can go back to its source By doing mitzvos, giving a bracha, chesed…
That’s how my infinite light is revealed in the world
The problem is
WE THINK ITS BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Layer upon layer of natural thinking
Its MORE interesting to bring G-d into
an expanded way of looking at our life.